Day 26 Reflections - Routine to Transition

Since we drove back to Des Moines, Iowa from Kansas City, Missouri on July 8 we have had our first block of time in one place. We have had two weeks at our apartment in Waukee, Iowa (think western suburb of Des Moines, IA) in the same building as Whitney’s parents, and we have eight more days here.

Fun times. We have had a lot of fun times. The magic I was hoping for is certainly happening, building and increasing. I am (mostly) getting up at ~5am, meditating, stretching and for this month watching either the final part of the Cricket World Cup and now finishing out the first 8 seasons of Blue Bloods on Netflix. This TV time is going to be replaced with writing and reading time. As the kids wake up we hang out, adding each one as they do. It is a huge difference with no school and work to get ready for, we play games and get ready for the day. We have had tennis lessons on Tuesday and Thursday’s for Scarlett and Nora and swim lessons for Scarlett (Nora refuses!) on Monday through Thursday. We have done excursions to the Living History Farms and today we go to the Zoo. American Ninja Warrior is a family watching favorite and we found a local gym called Kids Warrior Gym where the kids can be “mini” Ninja Warriors including running up “The Wall” - it is awesome. A great workout for them and a fun bit of normalcy from Seattle where they loved Seattle Gymnastics Academy, Seattle Bouldering Project, PlayDate Seattle and every playground we come across! We have spent 3-4 days of each week at the pool from noon to 3pm with Iowa Grandma and Grandpa joining most days. Then we are walking up the hallway to Iowa Grandma and Grandpa’s for dinner, board games and (eventually) back to our apartment for bedtime. Bedtime routine - which with me in charge of Scarlett and Nora - can last from 45 mins to 3 hours so it ranges from being fantastic to a complete cluster. What is interesting is that I can’t tell what, if any, causation or correlation there is between the fantastic bedtimes (happy, reading, laughing, and going to sleep) and the tough ones (tantrums, etc.). I can’t work out what circumstances create the result, that is of course part of what makes the magic bedtimes so magic and the frustration of the bad ones leaving such an jarring impression.

The ratio of good and great times with Whitney and each of our daughters versus tantrums/meltdowns has improved 10:1 from where it was just a few months ago when I was at the office each day. That is powerful and amazing.

Challenges. There are a few. Whitney and I are trying to workout what sort of routine we want everyone to be in to help the kids thrive. Enough routine that everyone feels great and knows what is expected in the moment, but not so much that stifles play and presence. We don’t feel like we are there yet for Scarlett, Nora nor are we there yet for ourselves.

Factors in this are I am still consulting with my employer on transition items for a few more days - it ends July 31, 2019 - so this has been a positive from a budget perspective in July but a real strain on my presence during the day and in supporting our flexibility in trying different approaches to the day. When I have 1-3 calls between 10am-6pm each day and a few emails to attend to it distracts me. I always knew it did, I think I can really see the contrast and impact now more than ever given how stark it is.

Errands. This feels like our third and final phase of leaving our working lives in Seattle. We had the physical phase of moving out of our house by May 31, 2019, then the administrative phase of leaving Seattle on June 28, 2019 and now the final pack-only-what-you-can-carry phase here in Iowa building to when we leave here on August 1, 2019. So we are making sure life documents are all secured, transferring my mobile phone from my work to a personal account ($3/month with T-Mobile to protect my #), sending back my work laptop, a final round of donations to Goodwill and selling our 2 cars. Selling the cars has provided the first major self-induced cluster. We will be able to laugh about it but not for a while! I forgot to pack the titles to both cars (2003 Hyundai Elantra and 2013 Toyota Highlander). Yes, actually I am not sure if I left them safely in the Seattle Storage Unit or accidentally threw them away as part of the move. Either way, tough to sell a car anytime without the Title and not super helpful when you are 2,000+ miles away from Seattle where you can get a replacement title. It has been a circus getting the replacement Title for each car. One car was in my name, one in Whitney’s name. We had not updated Whitney’s Title for the car she had since medical school to her married name. So, after some calls with Washington Department of Licensing we worked out the forms needed and I called on a wonderful friend to help be our feet on the ground. We provided affidavits and power of attorney for both cars, had to follow up with a separate one for Whitney’s married name change, and of course everything had to be notarized and the original sent via UPS/FedEx. Our friend in Seattle was awesome because the backup plan was for me to jump on a flight and do a long-day trip to Seattle to fix my mistake. That was averted. Oh, and just to add to the drama the original UPS package with originals of the affidavits, power of attorney forms, marriage certificate, birth certificate, etc. was sent via UPS on Thursday July 18 for delivery by 10:30am on Friday July 19, 2019. UPS decided to bump this package (& no doubt a bunch of other individual, non-corporate clients) off the plane in Kentucky and it ended up getting delivered late morning on Monday July 22, 2019 - 4 days! :( brutal! I definitely wish I had used FedEx. UPS wasn’t enabling package re-direction (which would have meant our friend could have received the package on Saturday because we could have redirected it to her home) and the customer service was horrible. I even called back to the local UPS store we sent it from to see if they could help, they were nice and tried but ineffective against the UPS corporate machine. Sad reminder of a company getting further and further from small clients.

Anyway, trying to close out as many errands and loose ends over the next week without encroaching on enjoying today with my family. Savoring today and the experiences we will have.

P.S. Below are two pictures from our apartment in Waukee, Iowa… one of an afternoon storm approaching and the other at sunrise.